Why do I do youthwork again?

Last night of the term: special things – Karaoke, Disco, Funny Hats. Lots of young people.

We come together at the end, I planned to speak of the joy of Christmas, the mystery of the incarnation, the outrageousness of God stepping into our world… and then I caught sight of the state of the toilets.

Water, mud, footprints on the toilet seats; the work of waterfights and I had failed to spot it during my mp3-spinning and karaoke-setup.

[caption id=”attachment_663″ align=”alignnone” width=”404″ caption=”not one of our muddy footprints, but I needed something to break up the text of this moan”not one of our muddy footprints, but I needed something to break up the text of this moan[/caption

My heart sank. This is the level at which they value the youth club; this is how much they think of the only youth work in this area; and I lost it.

How could I speak of His love with this anger, this upset burning within me? What a wasted opportunity. What a shame. How I let them down and let such a little thing overwhelm me. Damn.

At this point, I can’t see the point in continually putting out for them: for spending time and money and effort and putting myself of the line for them. I will probably feel different when the new term comes around after Christmas, but at this moment…