Not only will The Revolution not be televised,
The Revolution will not be tweeted. Nor will it be featured in any status update in your facebook news feed.
You will not see The Revolution scroll across your home screen notifying you that it was posted three minutes ago, and you will not be able to press the “like” icon to show all those in your network that you are down with it.
The Revolution will not be remixed and autotuned on youtube
or downloaded to your computer’s hard drive.
It will not be capable of rebooting in the sense that you use the term,
and there will not be an “app” for it.
Apple will not be making and marketing “The Revolution, 2.0” which can also be purchased in white.
Sprite will not be doing a viral marketing ad campaign using your favorite rapper’s latest mixtape release to speak on it,
So no, Drake will not have a verse, nor will he be singing the hook on The Revolution.
The Revolution will also not feature cameo appearances from J. Cole, Li’l Wayne, Jay-Z or Mos Def.
Nor will Beyonce or Rihanna dance to The Revolution.
The Revolution will not be posted on Fox.com and redirected to americanidol.com so you can find out who it was not won by,
because, of course, you will not be able to text your vote through AT&T to show your support for the cause.
The Revolution will not be cause enough for alarm that Wolf Blitzer or Anderson Cooper will report it on CNN,
and The Revolution will not be blamed on the Left by Rush Limbaugh or Bill O’Reilly.
The Revolution will not be blamed on the Right by James Carville or Keith Olbermann.
The Revolution will not be a punch line for Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert.
The Revolution will not be teleprompted to the President of the United States of America to the Divided States of America while sitting in front of their televisions and computers, confused by the blue-grey lit lamps of illumination illuminating an Illuminati conspiracy.
The Revolution will not involve Ghaddafi stepping down or Egyptians rising up or need America as its ally.
There may be a pain deep in the heart of Mother Africa or a cry from her over-aborted belly telling us that it is here, but there will no intervention on the parts of the other Mothers—
So Mother Earth and Mother Nature will sit by the way some Mothers now do and watch while the Motherfuckers do what they will,
but it’s pretty safe to say that The Revolution will not occur under the influence of the Date Rape pill.
The Revolution will not be a friendly fuck, either,
and you will not be seduced to the soothing sounds of Lady Antebellum or Esperanza Spalding
or courted with a chilled glass of Moscato, a can of Four Loko, a bottle of Ciroc, or shots of Patron.
The Revolution won’t concern itself with birth control pills, Plan B, or the dropout rates of the kids who have kids while still kidding themselves about their maturity.
The Revolution WILL be about purity, and surely those who know will know that it won’t be a revolution strictly based on Race or Faith;
The Revolution won’t be a Holy War, Jihad, Ethnic Cleanse or Barbecue,
but certainly it will bother you if you to this point are not yet bothered.
The Revolution will not need to divide its time between racism, sexism or homophobia because it has no time to discriminate against Niggers, Bitches, Fags, Kikes, Coons, Cunts or Dykes.
The Revolution will not be televised.
The Revolution will not be tweeted.
The Revolution will not be on Facebook.
The Revolution will not have an Internet Protocol address.
The Revolution will not be preceded by a www (dot) and followed by a (dot) com.
There won’t be cameras for The Revolution.
There won’t be Real Housewives of The Revolution.
There will be no Teen Moms of the The Revolution.
There will be no First 48 or Intervention for The Revolution.
No Extreme Makeover: Revolution Edition.
or Survivor: Revolution.
The Revolution may not even have survivors.
As I remember it being told, Gil Scott-Heron said The Revolution would be live.
And Live and Direct from The Revolution, I’ve come to report to you that
The Revolution is here…
The Revolution is here…
The Revolution is here!!!