Real Clergy

Real Clergy should

* always be on time for services and meetings
* not have to use answerphones or have their mobiles switched off
* remember everyone’s names
* always be available at the Church Door on a Sunday morning
* always be in a clerical collar
* never have to go shopping (or be seen shopping)
* know when to stop
* be willing to take a funeral on a day off
* be willing to respond to any request beginning ‘I know it’s your day off but…’
* stand up to the organist
* stand up to the mother of the bride
* stand up to their wives or husbands
* not know where the church cleaning things are
* not get involved in the flower rota
* sort out all parish arguments
* keep everyone happy
* keep the magazine and notice sheet going
* not be stuck behind a computer
* visit people in hospital, home and everywhere
* not need to make appointments for visiting
* have well-behaved children
* have a well-behaved wife
* have a wife and children
* have a happy marriage
* lead from the front
* consult and ask everyone first
* not worry about their sermons
* not admit to having doubts
* not worry about anything

Do you recognise any of this? Why am I still doing 70 hours a week?