Please help write/shape this Collect…

I want to turn to the power of the blogsphere to help me shape the core prayers of Blessed’s offering at Greenbelt this year.

Have a look at this and if you feel there are changes which can be made, then please comment below, and I will use your contributions to shape this liturgy.  Blurb about the shape, theme and object of the Mass appear after my first draft so you might understand the context:

Collect

Let us pray…
We gather here in this holy space,not as strangers but as guests…
Heavenly Father,
who through your Son Jesus Christ Our Lord,
made known to the whole world
your love,
your forgiveness,
your welcome,
bring us to your heavenly home
where grace rolls out  the carpet and mercy paints the walls
where grace and mercy abound
and all are invited to share in the bounteous feast
with all the angels, saints, prophets and patriarchs.
We make our prayer through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
Amen

Contribution blurb

God is here. Make yourselves at home. Come in and put your feet up. Christ welcomes each and every one of you in to share a meal. Moving through some of the many rooms in his Father’s house, Blesséd seeks to explore what it means to be welcomed, even when others think there’s a risk that you might make a mess, upset the neighbours or say something rude or inappropriate.

This year’s full-on multimedia mass takes place in an all-together bigger setting: the Big Top, with the unique and distinct contribution of rock band Metanoia to create an opening act of worship which will make you feel both at home and challenged to your very heart.

At this first/last party, the traditional and the radical come together in a multisensory experience of worship, rock music and sacrament. Incense and the Holy Spirit will be used – don’t say you haven’t been warned.