Archives April 2017

With a h/t to Mthr Gemma

It was one Saturday night After Eight, and me and my mate Freddo, were being paid a Bounty to guard this tomb. ‘Guard a tomb? You say. Yeah that’s a Whole Nut of an idea, I know.

There was this guy, see. We’d executed him on the Friday, but he had said he would come back to life so we were there to make sure he stayed dead! No really, I’m not Lion! You think that’s mad? Join the Club! Now my mate is a bit of a Smartie, so while we were stood, guarding the dead body, we says, ‘why don’t we have a Picnic?’ And I thought, ‘Well why not? I could do with some Time Out’

So we sat down and ate our sandwiches Crème Egg and cress for me, then Chomping some Fruit and Nuts for one of my five-a-day, all washed down with a cold glass of Dairy Milk.

Anyway, back to the Topic. After our food we were Flaked out and… well… I’m not going to Fudge the facts, we fell asleep. I know we shouldn’t have, but we did. We loosened our Buttons, pulled off our Snickers (sneakers) and lay down under the Milky Way.

Next thing I know there is a Crunchie sound, like when you Rolo way the stone. Sat bolt upright and thought… ‘What a Kinder Surprise is this?’ I said. I couldn’t have been more shocked if a Penguin had arrived on a Double Decker bus!

So what was it, this surprise? Only an angel, clothes all Milky Bar white and hair all Curly Wurly – just sat there, on top of the stone! And the tomb was OPEN! (Open Hollow Egg)

Me and my mate, we were in a complete Twirl – we were so scared we called for our Mars – but just before we fainted, we heard a Ripple of fabric from the tomb. Seems he had come back to life after all!

I heard a Wispa as he stepped out. He winked at me and said ‘Aero!’

This liturgy is a hybrid of Anglican and Roman texts which I keep for use in the anointing of the sick. It is usually given as an act of healing and reconciliation which needs to be carefully explained so that it is not feared as “the Last Rites”

In the name of the +Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen

The Lord be with you
And also with you

Sprinkling with holy water
If it seems desirable, the priest may sprinkle the sick person and those present with holy water. One of the following may be used:

The Lord is our shepherd
and leads us to streams of living water

or

Like a stream in parched land,
may the grace of the Lord refresh our lives.

or

Let this water call to mind our baptism into Christ,
who by his death and resurrection has redeemed us.

Introduction

My dear friends, we are gathered here in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ who is present among us.

As the gospels remind us, the sick came to him for healing; moreover, he loves us so much that he died for our sake.

Through the apostle James, he has commanded us: “Are there any who are sick among you? Let them send for the priests of the Church, and let the priests pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick persons, and the Lord will raise them up; and if they have committed any sins, their sins will be forgiven them.”

Let us therefore commend our sick brother/sister N. to the grace and power of Christ, that he may save him/her and raise him/her up.

Penitential Rite

Lord Jesus, you healed the sick:
Lord, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

Lord Jesus, you forgave sinners:
Christ, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.

Lord Jesus, you give us yourself
to heal us and bring us strength:
Lord, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

The priest concludes the penitential rite with the following:

God, the Father of mercies,
through the death and reconciliation of his Son
has reconciled the world to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit among us
for the forgiveness of sins;
through the ministry of the Church
may God give you pardon and peace,
and I absolve you from your sins
in the name of the Father, and of the Son, +
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Collect

God of compassion,
you take everyone under your care
and know our physical and spiritual needs.
Transform our weakness by the strength of your grace
and confirm us in your covenant
so that we may grow in faith and love.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit
one God, now and forever.
Amen

Scripture: Matthew 11:25-30

The Lord be with you
And also with you

Hear the Holy Gospel according to Matthew
Glory to you, O Lord

On one occasion, Jesus spoke thus: “Father, Lord of heaven and earth, to you I offer praise; for what you have hidden from the learned and the clever you have revealed to the merest of children. Father, it is true. You have graciously willed it so. Everything has been given over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son but the Father, and no one knows the Father but the Son—and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart. Your souls will find rest, for my yoke is easy and my burden light.”

This is the Gospel of the Lord.
Praise to you, O Christ

Laying on of hands
The priest silently places his hands on the sick person and prays for their healing
.
Anointing
The priest anoints the sick person with blessed oil.

First, he anoints the forehead, saying

Through this holy anointing
may the Lord in his love and mercy
help/heal you with the grace of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Then he anoints the palms of the hands, saying:

May the Lord who frees you from sin
save you and raise you up.
Amen.

Prayer after Anointing

Let us pray…

Usual

Father in heaven,
through this holy anointing
grant N. comfort in his/her suffering.
When he/she is afraid, give him/her courage,
when afflicted, give him/her patience,
when dejected, afford him/her hope,
and when alone, assure him/her of the support of your holy people.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

In extreme or terminal illness

Lord Jesus Christ,
you chose to share our human nature,
to redeem all people, and to heal the sick.
Look with compassion upon your servant N.,
whom we have anointed in your name
with this holy oil for the healing of his/her body and spirit.
Support him/her with your power,
comfort him/her with your protection,
and give him/her the strength to fight against evil.
Since you have given him/her
a share in your own passion,
help him/her to find hope in suffering,
for you are Lord for ever and ever.
Amen.

Before surgery

God of compassion,
our human weakness lays claim to your strength.
We pray that through the skills of surgeons and nurses
your healing gifts may be granted to N.
May your servant respond to your healing will
and be reunited with us at your altar of praise.
Grant this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

The Lord’s Prayer

As our Saviour taught us, so we pray…

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the Kingdom, the power & the glory
For ever & ever. Amen

Blessing

May God the holy and undivided Trinity
preserve you in body, mind and spirit,
and bring you safe to that heavenly country
where peace and harmony reign;
and the blessing of God almighty,
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
be among you and remain with you always.
Amen