Webpage Screenshots to Animated GIFs

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I love an animated GIF… whether it’s a currently hot meme, or a classic quote or just an illustration which is better animated, then the moving, repeated image is king.

The wonderful Fr Eddie Green uses them extensively in his Worshpr toolkit.

Creating them from scratch (as opposed to just simply downloading them) used to be complex, but now I have worked out how to put two simple steps together to make this magic happen.

How to create Animated GIFs from something on a Web Page

1 Install Nimbus Screenshot into your Chrome Browser 

 

 

2 This enables you to grab all of a web page, or just a tiny part or… record the screen as a video

3 The Menu gives you all these wonderful options:

4. When you have recorded what you want in Nimbus, you can save it. The video format is the rather useless .webm format which even Adobe Media Convertor cannot read, so this is where the next site comes in…

5. Visit https://www.online-convert.com/ and more specifically https://image.online-convert.com/convert-to-gif

6 For an embedded GIF (I still despite knowing different still call them Gg-if with the hard G rather than the soft J-if, sorry it’s too embedded) in a tweet, I reduce the size to 320×240 for square (4:3) images or 320×180 for widescreen images

7 In a few moments, the GIF will be downloaded. Note you can do all kinds of conversions as well, so you can convert anything into anything. This is good if you want the .webm in .mp4 format so you can put it in another video.

These are some quick examples:

Enjoy!

Extracting a Google Calendar Agenda for the Parish Noticesheet

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In common with a number of other churches, we keep our diary on Google Calendar. In recent months I have simply been scraping the data straight from that onto the noticesheet for the forthcoming week, and as usual trying to make it easier.

This php code extracts the data from a private ical feed to a display on the page. To get the right feed, go to Google Calendar, select the dropdown next to the calendar you want and select calendar settings.

Then select Private Address below and copy the URL which is listed there. If it’s the only calendar you use, I have found that my Chrome browser will remember it for you.

 

 

Visit this site: https://secure.webinformatique.co.uk/ical/index.php

Then select the date from which you wish to start and the duration (usually 7 days).

After a delay (a number of seconds for a large calendar, I have found), the data is output below

You can cut and paste this into any document.

Developed by Fr. S Using the toolkit developed by Jonathan Goode , John Grogg and Martin Thoma

Written for my own use and made available for you for FREE, all I ask is for your prayers… call it Prayerware if you like!

You are advised to check the entries before reuse as there is a bug in Google Calendar which ignores British Summer Time and sets all events in Daylight Savings Time to an hour earlier. Recurring events and events outside of BST do not appear to be affected. This is a summertime only issue.

Some of my favourite films

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A few years ago (2013) I listed the Albums which I felt had shaped me as a person: not necessarily the best albums but the ones which shaped me see http://www.frsimon.uk/my-favourite-albums-of-all-time/
My son, Liam, mentioned that he had been compiling his own list of movies, and so it set me thinking. Here is my list (in no particular order) of films that have helped make me what I am today, and for that I apologise. It is definitely not a list of the super-cool, hip or esoteric, but these are films I treasure.
Human Traffic
The Matrix
I did not really know what the Matrix was all about when I went to see it, and so the ascension of Neo back into the real world was a genuine shock – an experience that I’ll never get back, because once you know… That feeling was just amazing, a lightbulb moment. Beyond that the depth, the theology, the philosophy behind the Matrix has enough material to keep me engaged for decades: questions of reality and perception, of creation and ontology are all expressed in this wonderful movie. Pity the other two were absolute shite, but you have to milk the cash cow for all it’s worth these days.
City of God
Brazilian film of such style, grace and brilliant story-telling. Yes, it’s in Portuguese, but reading subtitles never heart anyone. It’s a wonderful, challenging film about one of the worst places in the world. People are ace, they really are.
Pulp Fiction
Tarrantino’s masterpiece of non-linear storytelling is just perfect: the characters are all comic-book, the timeline is all messed up to keep the whole thing boiling and the soundtrack is one of the most carefully curated parts of the film: not just an add-on, but an intrinsic piece of the story-telling. Each little episode is so disjoint and yet so connected. Does the suitcase really contain the soul of Marcus Wallace?
Napolean
Silent. 7 and a half hours long. Incomplete, because bits of it still hasn’t been found. This is simply a masterpiece. I have been fascinated by this film since a patient at Barts introduced me to it. Abel Gance tells the epic story so epically, and at the climax, across 3 screens. This was in 1927 for goodness sake! Best watched at a big screening and a live accompaniment.
Rocky Horror Picture Show

Mark Robinson and I (aged 13 or 14) went to see Mel Brook’s Young Frankenstein (another excellent film, but one outside this list) as at the time we were all into Blazing Saddles and the like. On the double bill was this movie we’d never heard of. All we talked about for a year after that night was the other movie: the Rocky Horror Picture Show. So outrageous, so glam, so sexually ambiguous, it opened our eyes to diversity and camp. True to say, I’ve never been the same since.

Again, not necessarily the best films (or albums) but the films that have made a difference to me. I may well expand this list as time goes on and I am reminded of other great, important and influential movies on me. So, although I love to waste train journeys rewatching the camp classic Pitch Perfect, quote frequently and extensively from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Breakfast Club and won’t mention the pornography of my teenage years (formative in one way, at least), and clearly I’m not hip or savvy. This is me. I am who I am.

What a “Resource Church” really means…

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When a shiny new Church Plant (usually from a shiny church in central west London) appears like a cuckoo in a city – in a reasonably affluent area or an area saturated with students, one of the phrases used to calm us is that it will be a “resource church” which on the face of it, does not sound like a bad thing at all.

 

“Oh good,” we think, “maybe some of those shiny resources can be put to good use in my slightly less shiny parish”, “perhaps they might have a screen or PA we could borrow, or even a working photocopier”, “I wonder if they might have some shiny young people to help us leaflet the estate about our mission to the elderly there…”

 

But such hopes are quickly dashed as the pre-existing congregation are levered out of their not very shiny church and abandoned as they focus relentlessly on a growth strategy that initially strips all the young people out of other churches  into the remodelled (how did they get that through the DAC so quickly? Money still clearly talks…) new interior where the boring old essentials of Anglicanism are relegated to the back to be forgotten, as a Cafe is open before each service serving “absolutely divine coffee”

 

As for the resources they have on offer for us? Well, the transplanted Vicar, Curate, “Worship Leader” and Administrator are very willing to resource the entire church… Why not send your people to one of their Discipleship or Beginners Courses? Why not gather all the “worship leaders” together and our Worship Leader can show them how finally to do it right. It’s funny, because I always thought the leading of Worship was the primary responsibility of the Vicar, Curate, Reader etc. Not just some bloke with a guitar (Fr Robb being the obvious exception to this).

 

What they want to resource us with is their way of doing things,  to insinuate themselves into each and every parish until,  rather like McDonald’s Franchises they come to be the bland, homogenised face of Christendom. If your face does not fit this shiny model of church: if you don’t have the same responses as them, share the same sexuality or gender then they can’y help

 

As an aside, I am amazed that there is not a single woman involved here who is not married to a ‘minister’ – it seems to be the only way they are allowed to minister, because someone in this resource church needs to have a penis somewhere it would appear. It seems that capable and spiritual women are reduced to smiling add-ons with great teeth, beautiful hair and a better class of theology degree that they simply are not allowed to properly utilise in proper ministry because of a single casual line in a pastoral letter of Paul. But I digress.

 

If your taste leans towards valuing the sacraments that Jesus and his bride, the Church have used for centuries and if guitar and drums don’t always work for you, then I am afraid, we can’t resource you.

 

You aren’t resourceable. Even though we must be Jews to the Jews and Greeks to the Greeks, that we must make our ministry as protean as Paul was prepared to do at the Areopagus, these resources come in only one form and in only one spirituality.

 

Tough. Our tanks are here on the lawn now. We are taking over.

Rainbow Cross. Use Freely.

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I’ve been working on this graphic in photoshop, and although I got (eventually) the thing I wanted, I’m still not clear how I got there. Use freely. To save, Right-Click and select “Save As…” or “Save Image As…” depending on your browser.

 

This is the chunky version (641px x 802 transparent png)

and this is the slightly more textured version.

The photoshop file is here.

Enjoy!

Watch of the Blessed Sacrament

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Will you but stay with me for just one hour?
In silence, where every footstep squeek upon the lino floor
Is a bold reminder that we are not alone
In this long watch I fight to stay awake
But silence looms and in its oppressive weight
I long for shouts and a noisy arrest to break into this time spent with you.

Alone with you,
All I can do is pray
And in that prayer draw closer
Before the clanging bleep of midnight on my wrist reminds me that
the relentless march of time towards the cross
continues, and lumbers through the dark and into a light
Which makes this calm seem…
…Special.
I will wait Lord,
Just one more hour
because I see
You are waiting on me.

 

Maundy Thursday, 2017
S. Anne, Glenholt

30 Pieces of Chocolate

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in scripture, teaching

With a h/t to Mthr Gemma

It was one Saturday night After Eight, and me and my mate Freddo, were being paid a Bounty to guard this tomb. ‘Guard a tomb? You say. Yeah that’s a Whole Nut of an idea, I know.

There was this guy, see. We’d executed him on the Friday, but he had said he would come back to life so we were there to make sure he stayed dead! No really, I’m not Lion! You think that’s mad? Join the Club! Now my mate is a bit of a Smartie, so while we were stood, guarding the dead body, we says, ‘why don’t we have a Picnic?’ And I thought, ‘Well why not? I could do with some Time Out’

So we sat down and ate our sandwiches Crème Egg and cress for me, then Chomping some Fruit and Nuts for one of my five-a-day, all washed down with a cold glass of Dairy Milk.

Anyway, back to the Topic. After our food we were Flaked out and… well… I’m not going to Fudge the facts, we fell asleep. I know we shouldn’t have, but we did. We loosened our Buttons, pulled off our Snickers (sneakers) and lay down under the Milky Way.

Next thing I know there is a Crunchie sound, like when you Rolo way the stone. Sat bolt upright and thought… ‘What a Kinder Surprise is this?’ I said. I couldn’t have been more shocked if a Penguin had arrived on a Double Decker bus!

So what was it, this surprise? Only an angel, clothes all Milky Bar white and hair all Curly Wurly – just sat there, on top of the stone! And the tomb was OPEN! (Open Hollow Egg)

Me and my mate, we were in a complete Twirl – we were so scared we called for our Mars – but just before we fainted, we heard a Ripple of fabric from the tomb. Seems he had come back to life after all!

I heard a Wispa as he stepped out. He winked at me and said ‘Aero!’

Anointing of the Sick Liturgy

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This liturgy is a hybrid of Anglican and Roman texts which I keep for use in the anointing of the sick. It is usually given as an act of healing and reconciliation which needs to be carefully explained so that it is not feared as “the Last Rites”

In the name of the +Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen

The Lord be with you
And also with you

Sprinkling with holy water
If it seems desirable, the priest may sprinkle the sick person and those present with holy water. One of the following may be used:

The Lord is our shepherd
and leads us to streams of living water

or

Like a stream in parched land,
may the grace of the Lord refresh our lives.

or

Let this water call to mind our baptism into Christ,
who by his death and resurrection has redeemed us.

Introduction

My dear friends, we are gathered here in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ who is present among us.

As the gospels remind us, the sick came to him for healing; moreover, he loves us so much that he died for our sake.

Through the apostle James, he has commanded us: “Are there any who are sick among you? Let them send for the priests of the Church, and let the priests pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick persons, and the Lord will raise them up; and if they have committed any sins, their sins will be forgiven them.”

Let us therefore commend our sick brother/sister N. to the grace and power of Christ, that he may save him/her and raise him/her up.

Penitential Rite

Lord Jesus, you healed the sick:
Lord, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

Lord Jesus, you forgave sinners:
Christ, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.

Lord Jesus, you give us yourself
to heal us and bring us strength:
Lord, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

The priest concludes the penitential rite with the following:

God, the Father of mercies,
through the death and reconciliation of his Son
has reconciled the world to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit among us
for the forgiveness of sins;
through the ministry of the Church
may God give you pardon and peace,
and I absolve you from your sins
in the name of the Father, and of the Son, +
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Collect

God of compassion,
you take everyone under your care
and know our physical and spiritual needs.
Transform our weakness by the strength of your grace
and confirm us in your covenant
so that we may grow in faith and love.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit
one God, now and forever.
Amen

Scripture: Matthew 11:25-30

The Lord be with you
And also with you

Hear the Holy Gospel according to Matthew
Glory to you, O Lord

On one occasion, Jesus spoke thus: “Father, Lord of heaven and earth, to you I offer praise; for what you have hidden from the learned and the clever you have revealed to the merest of children. Father, it is true. You have graciously willed it so. Everything has been given over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son but the Father, and no one knows the Father but the Son—and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart. Your souls will find rest, for my yoke is easy and my burden light.”

This is the Gospel of the Lord.
Praise to you, O Christ

Laying on of hands
The priest silently places his hands on the sick person and prays for their healing
.
Anointing
The priest anoints the sick person with blessed oil.

First, he anoints the forehead, saying

Through this holy anointing
may the Lord in his love and mercy
help/heal you with the grace of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Then he anoints the palms of the hands, saying:

May the Lord who frees you from sin
save you and raise you up.
Amen.

Prayer after Anointing

Let us pray…

Usual

Father in heaven,
through this holy anointing
grant N. comfort in his/her suffering.
When he/she is afraid, give him/her courage,
when afflicted, give him/her patience,
when dejected, afford him/her hope,
and when alone, assure him/her of the support of your holy people.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

In extreme or terminal illness

Lord Jesus Christ,
you chose to share our human nature,
to redeem all people, and to heal the sick.
Look with compassion upon your servant N.,
whom we have anointed in your name
with this holy oil for the healing of his/her body and spirit.
Support him/her with your power,
comfort him/her with your protection,
and give him/her the strength to fight against evil.
Since you have given him/her
a share in your own passion,
help him/her to find hope in suffering,
for you are Lord for ever and ever.
Amen.

Before surgery

God of compassion,
our human weakness lays claim to your strength.
We pray that through the skills of surgeons and nurses
your healing gifts may be granted to N.
May your servant respond to your healing will
and be reunited with us at your altar of praise.
Grant this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

The Lord’s Prayer

As our Saviour taught us, so we pray…

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the Kingdom, the power & the glory
For ever & ever. Amen

Blessing

May God the holy and undivided Trinity
preserve you in body, mind and spirit,
and bring you safe to that heavenly country
where peace and harmony reign;
and the blessing of God almighty,
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
be among you and remain with you always.
Amen

Crowdsourcing a Sonnet for Holy Ground on Palm Sunday

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I need your voice – many of you know of my Crowdsourced Psalms Project to produce a Digital Psalter. Now I need urgently to make this Sonnet by the wonderful Malcolm Guite:

Palm Sunday by Malcom Guite

Now to the gate of my Jerusalem,
The seething holy city of my heart,
The saviour comes. But will I welcome him?
Oh crowds of easy feelings make a start;
They raise their hands, get caught up in the singing,
And think the battle won. Too soon they’ll find
The challenge, the reversal he is bringing
Changes their tune. I know what lies behind
The surface flourish that so quickly fades;
Self-interest, and fearful guardedness,
The hardness of the heart, its barricades,
And at the core, the dreadful emptiness
Of a perverted temple. Jesus come
Break my resistance and make me your home.

If you can help me (it will take slightly less than 2 mins), then please do the following:

Instructions

  1. If you have a phone like an iPhone or an Android, there is usually an app to record your voice – often called “Voice Memo” or some thing similar. I use a free Android App called ASR which can be installed for free from https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.nll.asr  If you have better recording equipment, then even better, but I have found that most smartphones are good enough nowadays. You can configure it to record at quite a good quality: I would suggest 192k in MP3 or MP4 format if that means anything to you. If not, just record it as it comes and I will do spooky mysterious things with it with electronics.
  2. iPhones will record in the very nice .M4a format. This is fine, but please try and set it to the highest quality you can.
  3. Read (nicely and in the highest possible quality) the above reading. Click here to jump to the optimum settings in ASR…
  4. After recording select “Share” (or similar) and email it to me at fr.simonrundell@gmail.com
  5. It would be really helpful if you named the file with your name. This will help me collate them.
  6. I will cut it up with all the others and make these into the reading using the multiplicity of voices, accents, genders etc.
  7. Can you tell others and ask them to do it for me please so I get lots and lots of voices.

Thank you.